What’s the difference between a corporation, a fetus, and a woman?

The GOP only considers two of these things people!

It’s clear that if you have a vagina, you can’t be trusted with it. You need to trust Rick Santorum to tell you what to do with your love shack. The fact that birth control literally has not been a political issue for over 60 years proves that this man is the only one who actually cares about monitoring your sex life, and sex is ONLY for procreation.

Since Rick and his wife (who looks like something that rolled around on a minivan floorboard) have had nine children, I’m guessing they have had sex exactly nine times. Through a hole in the sheet. Which, by the way, is not how Jews do it, it’s how primitive Baptists do it.

Have you ever heard the saying “Love the sinner, hate the sin”? We should shower Rick Santorum with our love, and Dan Savage suggested a great way to do that. Since the GOP (Gay Oppression Party) is so obsessed with vaginas, just show them yours if you have one. That’ll shut ‘em up! I’m sure very few of you on BoyGush own such body parts, so I have a suggestion for you: Rick is absolutely obsessed with gay sex. He won’t shut the fuck up about it. Take a picture of you and your trick-of-the-day getting it on Greek style and send it to Santorum (and your favorite BoyGush columnist, just for good measure.)

Moving on to GOOD news. Republicans aren’t all that bad. Seriously, the fucktards running for president are not a decent representation of the over all party. I know many republicans who love me, love my husband, and advocate freedom to marry. I just pray that they see the error of their ways and stop voting for people based on their business practices and focus on their morals instead. That being said, we just got some great news from New Hampshire.

A group of sex-deprived assmonkeys can’t stand what has happened to N.H. since gay marriage was legalized. Seriously, you can’t swing a dick there these days without hitting an antique shop. This is what conservatives refer to as “moral decay”. A proposed solution to this was to pull a California and revoke gay marriage laws like a crafty Batman villain. With a Republican-dominated state legislature, this was a legitimate fear. The Governor of N.H. promised to veto any legislation that would threaten marriage equality, but many speculated this measure would pass.

Wrong.

 

 

“The attempt to repeal a law that made gay marriages legal in the state, failed by a vote of 116-211 in the Republican-controlled legislature, drawing applause from many lawmakers in the historic statehouse in Concord.”

Via Reuters

116-211! That is a HUGE majority! Some Repubs do have hearts. The Luxurious Offices of BoyGush, Inc. (that’s actually the name of the building we work in) is located in Texas, a state that is the result of one of God’s sick days. We have been conservative-controlled down here as long as we’ve existed, but this shows that there’s hope even for us. Did you guys hear that even Bill O’Reilly backed up Ellen DeGeneres and poked a little fun at “One Million” Moms when a representative of the “organization” appeared on his show? It was literally, LITERALLY, the only time I’ve agreed with him, and it really changed my view of Bill and Fox “News” as a whole.

National Organization for Marriage, one of the most hated groups in the nation, has been whining about legislation forcing states to perform same-sex marriage. Their solution was to give it to the voters to decide. Guess what. 3 states are doing that this year. Maybe once those states approve gay marriage NOM will shut the holy hell up.

I wanna end with a personal note. My husband (let’s call him “T-Bag”) and I are legally married. 25% of America and most countries that have their shit together recognize this. Texas says they don’t, but the fact that we can’t legally divorce in Texas shows that they at least acknowledge our relationship. Everyone knows we’re married. No matter how many people I introduced to him as my husband, he is still called my partner by most of my friends. I doubt they even realize they’re doing this, but when we went to a St. Patrick’s day party last weekend and I corrected someone about the term, they said “Oh, you’re REALLY married?”

Yes, fuckhead, we’re REALLY married. Would you ask a straight couple “Are you REALLY married? Because otherwise I’m going to call him your partner.” This happened last year when I went to my doctor and he asked me if I had been around anyone sick. “Yes, my husband is a teacher and catches everything that’s going around.” He had the nerve to refer to him as my roommate after that. When I appeared before a judge this week to legally take my husbands last name, the judge looked at the paperwork and said “Well you wrote “same-sex spouse” but you mean your partner.”

Bitch, I did not drive 28 motherfucking hours across Oklahoma and fucking KANSAS to spend and hour in a small claims courthouse with a judge and a couple of witnesses so I could still call the man I love my PARTNER. I deserve to have a husband after that, and if I have to carry my marriage license in my back pocket to get people to use the right term then I will.

This is a form of discrimination, and it’s pissing me off. Stop it. If someone does this to you, stand up for yourself and please correct them.